Old Book Vol. 11 Part I “Headquarters“
The headquarters consist of 3 main buildings: A building in the center, and 2 adjoining buildings to the left and right. Army leaders and high functionaries live in the adjoining buildings while the rest dwells in the central one.
Right Wing Building
The RWB section is connected to the main building by a long corridor which includes a full-body scanner. The RWB is the not the biggest but the highest and most expensive of all these buildings.
- Main Building: The first floor is called vassal floor. Merkel and David Cameron live there. The second floor, called central intelligence floor is only accessible by people living above it. The third floor is called white house floor, and it’s inhabited by Obama and the Bush family. Ronald McDonald and Larry Fink live in the fourth floor which is called business floor. The fifth floor is called think tank floor and is inhabited by chief strategist Zbigniev Silverberg. The next 95 floors don’t have rooms; the inside is just a framework. That’s because the main goal of the building was to be higher than the Left Wing Building.
- Courtyard: An impressive statue is placed in its center, obligatory paid by the people of the central building, and called the Statue of Liberty. It is made of sheet metal to save costs, but it is painted in gold to make it look more expensive. Next to the Statue of Liberty there’s an entrance to the underground high-security prison and its torture chambers which have been renamed into interrogation rooms.
- Banner and Army: Fixed on the top of the tower is the RW banner. It’s full of stars, each star representing a country they have invaded or indirectly attacked. The RW army is called democracy army because it knocks countries back to the Stone Age for having either too much or too few democracy. The RW army would destroy a country whose leader is not a friend. A leader not elected by the people is either a friend or a dictator, a leader elected by its people is either a friend or an extremist; it’s all decided in the RWB. After the attacks, loans and assistance in rebuilding is granted to the destroyed country. Wells and schools are built on the sites of razed and deserted villages, and burnt down farms are replaced by Mc Donald’s restaurants.
Left Wing Building
The LWB section can easily be entered by climbing walls and crawling through barbed wire fences. The LWB is a big block looking the same from all four sides.
- Main Building: The exterior view suggests it has many but small and identical rooms, but in fact the LW leadership lives in huge halls there. Stalin, Putin, Mao, Castro and Guevara, as well as Schtolteheim Kim III of North Korea have a floor each. There are some guest rooms in the basement where temporarily Snowden and occasionally Dennis Rodman live.
- Courtyard: An impressive statue is placed in its center, obligatory built by the people of the central building, and called Statue of Prosperity through Effort. It is made of pure gold, but it is painted grey to make it look less expensive. It is surrounded by graves, because the nearby graveyard was too small for all the people who died following the ideas of the LW leadership to build a prosperous country.
- Banner and Army: There was the LW banner, a plain red flag, fixed on the roof of the block, but it was recently taken down after being corrupted twice. The RW leaders hired ninja for special operations. At night, these ninja sneaked onto the LWB and wrote Coca Cola on the flag, and in the second operation, they painted a big yellow curved M on it. Needless to say, LW and RW don’t like each other very much. The LW army doesn’t engage in wars of aggression, because it is too busy digging graves for workers and peasants or practicing marching choreographies for the leaders’ birthdays or other anniversaries. In military conflicts they would rely on guerilla and wodka tactics.
It means the place just in front of the main gates to the headquarters.
- Arms Factory: The RW leadership planned to place it into the CB (central building), but the people there protested because it would give them a guilty conscience. The arms factory is one of the main sources of income, especially for the RW leaders. The weapons are primarily sold to fanatics.
- Refugee Camp: There is a huge ever-growing refugee camp next to the arms factory, inhabited by people who were chased out of their homes by the above mentioned fanatics or whose houses were collaterally destroyed by the RW army. A few lucky refugees get a paid job in the factory. The refugee camp is funded by the CB inhabitants and extends to the main entrance gates.
- Entrance Gates: There’s a board above the gates saying “Welcome to Cold War Castle, the most heart-warming and peaceful place in the world!” On both sides of the gates there are several billboards. One of them says “McDonald’s CB floor 5 – I love it”, another one says “From riches-to-rags overnight – visit our casino!” The gates are guarded by a mercenary group called Blackwater.